he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
