I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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