the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize