I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
