he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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