omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize