When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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