I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
