I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize