I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I forget how to act sober
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
