i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
