I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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