thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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