eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
