So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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