I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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