idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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