i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize