i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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