I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
