Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
