The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
