so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize