wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
