I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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