guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
