those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
