the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
