Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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