Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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