he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize