I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
