the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
