You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
