You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's the barista slut.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Randomize
