Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
