I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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