Yo dont text me then not text me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize