love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
