does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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