Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
