i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
