that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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