We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
