it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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