You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
