He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
