Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
