maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize