The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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