I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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