I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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