I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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