Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
