He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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