your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
