Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
