My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
