I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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