literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
