The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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