I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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