I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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