see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We need a shit load of segways right now
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
