Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
