I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
