Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
