I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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