ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
