I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
