U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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