Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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