Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
