No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
