I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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