How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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