just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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