when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize